The Mummy Dating Game

Today was a fairly standard weekday for me. Meeting up with one of my new mummy mates in a cafe. A cafe with good cake and pram space (obviously). Not that the pram space is for me because why would baby El want to lie in a pram when I can carry her around like the princess she is! (The carrying is mostly done by sling, I don’t just walk down the street carrying her in my arms…but I have done that too.) Also, if a new mum doesn’t eat cake then I don’t think we can be friends… just saying! If you don’t like cake or go on a diet with a newborn then you cray!

My mate today was one I met through the awesome app Mush! My ‘Mush’ing has decreased since I feel I have now reached a satisfactory level of mum mates that I am very fond of – just enough to have a little outing most days and WhatsApp about poo or cake, but not too many that I can’t keep up. Mush was very addictive in the first weeks of baby El’s life as I fed her at 3am terrified I’d never go out or find anyone to be baby besties with. I find striking up conversations with a group of strangers rather terrifying so Mush has saved me from rocking up to local baby groups trying to hit on new mums by giving them the eye.

Meeting up with new Mummy friends is just like dating, only instead of worrying about what you are going to wear there are now two of you to get dressed! Luckily there is always motherhood in common so conversation can flow (as much as it can when you’re holding a very temperamental being). And then you go home and wait for their text to see if a second date is on the cards.

My husband calls them my “FRIENNNDS” (imagine the way the boys in The Inbetweeners take the piss). I bore him with endless details and anecdotes as I get all excited about the new pals I’ve made. It is amazing how much can happen within a couple of hours – poonamis, tantrums, flying cake. (Let’s just take a moment to think of all the lost bits of cake…only to be expected when trying to eat left-handed without showering your newborn in crumbs.)

There is of course the antenatal group but with El being so early we missed most the classes and it was nearly 3 months before all the babies were born. You also don’t get to select the people attending your antenatal classes so you can end up with all sorts… luckily I met some gems, even if their babies took their blooming time getting here!

These new friends have been vital! No matter how much you think you know about babies you can’t imagine the crazy thoughts that will pop up once your baby is here. They calm you down instantly when you hear their baby also started pooing vinegar. They know how it feels when you’ve had a night of hourly wake ups! They help you laugh it off when you are sat on the floor in a packed cafe covered in the vinegar poo. They casually point out your babies been a bit sick while you’re too busy chomping on cake. And they just smile kindly when you are bobbing around like a maniac in a cafe because your baby has gone mental (not the looks of death you get from strangers who think you must have pinched them – it’s a baby they just lose their sh*t sometimes!) Always there to pick you up after a tough day (or night). I love my new friends!

Warning – don’t do your Lion King impression after feeding! I just got a little sick in my ear…

Today’s cake was a fairly good chocolate fudge cake from Wags N Tales… I’ll have to work on my photography

20 thoughts on “The Mummy Dating Game”

  1. Oh heavens that chocolate cake! And to have found a lovely new friend through Mush as well – double win. It is so important to have a group of friends that you click with and who are going through the same thing at the same time, to provide support. parenting is a wonderful but challenging journey, and applications like Mush make that path so much easier to navigate. Kate x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It took me forever out here in Colorado to find a good group of friends . And in the past year , one by one they have moved away ! It’s just me and one other Momma right now. Mom dating is SO hard !


  3. It’s so important to have mum friends! I’ve got a lovely group, but am about to have another baby so will have to take a look at Mush x


  4. I used to hate the mummy dating game. I really struggled to make mummy friends in baby groups because everyone had their own cliques already. I found it really horrible and uncomfortable and after trying really hard, gave up on baby groups all together. I’m definitely going to give Mush a try though!


  5. I’ve been using Mush since we moved house. It’s much harder to find other mums to meet up though once you are working, most people on there in my area have newborns (mine are 3 and 7).


  6. aww its honestly sounds like you had a great day! I know how hard it can be making friends as a grown up but as a new mum, this sounds like a whole different and interesting world


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