Quite frankly I don’t know why there aren’t more people coming up to me in the street to tell me how gorgeous my baby is (she is!). I glimpse a few polite smiles but it’s just not enough! I want some oooing and ahhing at how I managed to create such a perfect little munchkin! (I don’t know how either)
If a stranger does approach then it is usually a rather elderly lady trying to squidge El’s super soft chubby cheeks. Now I’m not a complete germophobe but who the hell are you and where have your hands been?! The latest cheek poker was an old lady who told me I must read my baby Shakespeare because her son has made it to his forties… I had thought she might tell me he was a Dr or some other admirable profession but it was just that he had got to forty… I then had to stand in a cake queue while she recited endless Shakespeare at El. (I may have ordered first and left my friend to listen to further recitals…sorry not sorry!) The worst poker was an old man in a checkout queue who got quite angry when he told me he didn’t have any grandchildren so I tried a sympathetic ohhh… But then he came close and actually poked her face!!! While saying ‘I could be your grandad!’ Errr NO! Cue me turning round to look very busy with a plastic bag.
I had a good outing to Tesco earlier this week where I came out feeling I had spread some joy! (And yes a trip to Tesco counts as a whole entire outing when you have a baby. We’re dressed and we’re out!) If baby El is happy then we might as well peruse the baby clothes, check for cake deals and what not…as long as it doesn’t involve standing still because that isn’t allowed (I will get a shriek in the face if stationary for too long – so you may see me circling the same rack of clothes while I try to make decisions.) People smiled warmly as they noticed there was a mini me strapped to my front. A little ‘she looks cosy’ or ‘ahh cute’ as we went on by. I realised I even know Italian as I overheard one couple go ‘ooo Bambino!’ Little kids would say ‘Mummy! There’s a little baby!’ My particular favourite was ‘Mummy why’s that baby in her mummy’s top?’ And the best bit about Tesco – no weirdos touched her!
I like to think that my baby is so adorable no one will notice the state of me. I will spend time making sure El is fairly clean and in a cute number but there isn’t always time for me… my best efforts now are a tinted moisturiser and eyeliner (not the fancy liquid kind, just a pencil under the eye). So appreciate my baby… but don’t look at me!
My latest cake consumption was a slice of red velvet from Senzo (Epsom). The cream cheesy icing got me thinking I need to eat cheesecake soon… pretty darn good!